So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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