she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
