Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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