maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
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Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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