Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
There's even glitter on my cock...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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