I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
