u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
