Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
