Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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