I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
