The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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