I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Vodka?
Forever.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
