im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
