Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
