i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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