do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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