It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
