someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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