mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
