Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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