it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize