dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize