We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize