dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize