So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
