Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
