so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
nut hugger
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
