Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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