is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
