Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
