I bet he comes in French.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
