just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
