you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
