I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
