A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
