apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
