the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
