well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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