i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
