There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
