You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
