I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just pee around me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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