With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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