she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
