Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
