i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
