I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
