I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
how drunk are you?
Several
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
