I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
