Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
