There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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