I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
