Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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