There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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