I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
ok first of all what the fuck
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
