One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
