How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
