Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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