party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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