this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
