I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We need to rekindle our bromance
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
