I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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