I'll bet she douches with gravy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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