I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
