Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
