Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
