Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Randomize
