I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
