It's like God shit irony all over that family
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
