i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
please come you make the beer taste better
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
