Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
